Funny Birthday Wishes

- Happy Birthday, you're not getting older you're just a little closer to death.

- To the nation's best kept secret; Your true age.

- Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.

- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!

- Money's tight, Times are hard, Here's you frigging birthday card

- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

- Better to be over the hill than burried under it.

- You are only as old as you act.

- So many candles... so little cake.

- Happy Birthday to you
you live in a zoo
you smell like a monkey
and you look like one too.

- We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

- Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don't die before you eat your cake.

- You're another year older and another year wiser, So put your brain to work, And figure out there ain't no gift for you.

- Two tips on your birthday:
1) Forget the past, you can't change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one.

- Some words of wisdom for your birthday, "Smile while you still have teeth!"

- Happy Birthday you old fart.

- You would have loved the gift I didn't bother getting you.

- Another year, another new place thet aches.

- One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!

- The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you're getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!

- It's ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.

- With age comes wisdom. (You're one of the wisest people I know!)

- I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.

- You're not old until you can't read this writing anymore. (written in real small text)

- Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.

- An old fart is as good as a new one.

- You've survived another year. Although you're older, it's better than the alternative. Congratulations!

- You age like cheese... You just keep getting smellier!

- Is it getting hotter in here or is it just all the candles on your cake?

- There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Too bad you aren't one.

- The younger you try to look; the older you actually are.

- Another year older, none the wiser.

- Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we'll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.

- Happy Birthday! You're one year closer to your death day.

- I'm not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

- Never lie about your age except in the case of an emergency, like if somebody should ask how old you are.

- Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.

- I'll always think of you as someone older than me. Happy Birthday.

- You're older.
You're wiser.
You're sophisticated.
You're far too mature to be concerned with material things, like presents.

- You know you're getting old when you walk up the stairs and call it excercise. Happy Bday!

- Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.

- May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.

- May you live to be old and toothless.

- Smile while you've still got the teeth, Happy birthday.

- So many birthdays. So few candles. Next year, may your birthday wish be a bigger cake.

- Forget your past, it's already done. Forget your present, too; because I forgot.

- You're not getting older. You're just a little closer to dying!

- Happy anniversary of your umbilical cord separation.

- Men age like wine, women age like milk.

- Some say the glass is half empty.
Others say the glass is half full.
It's your birthday, so just drink whatever is in the glass.

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